change

"Thou shalt not make change from the collection plate." Saw that quote in today's Parade Magazine.

The thought of a guy putting in a twenty, and then taking out a ten and a five strikes my funny bone. But my question is, DID YOU NOT KNOW YOU WERE GOING TO CHURCH THIS MORNING??

"Omigod! Somebody dressed me in a black suit, a white shirt, and an awful tie and stuck me in this pew! And all I have is a twenty. Oh, well, I'll just remove the bills from the two families sitting next to me and hope they don't notice. But in case they do, I'll put in my twenty afterwards quite noisily."

a REALLY dumb pun

Q. How do dogs listen to music?

A. On their I-pawed.

be a hero - volunteer

"Be a hero - volunteer." That's how the public service advertisement began on the television. It was for a good cause - I don't recall which. Volunteering is a very good thing - I have over 500 hours volunteering for local schools. I never thought of my volunteerism as very heroic, though. I hardly ever risked my life or anything. After all, isn't that what heroism means?

a moot point

What is the meaning of the expression "a moot point"?

A) A point that is debatable.
B) A point for which further debate is pointless.
C) A point about which one cannot speak.

You picked B, didn't you? Oddly, the answer is A. Dictionary.com states that moot is something that is subject to debate; arguable.

It doesn't mean C, something about which you cannot speak. A person who cannot speak is said to be mute, an entirely different concept. But some use the words interchangeably.

If you are one of them, consult a dictionary.