this call may be monitored

I read an article recently that talked about those messages you get that say, "This call may be monitored for quality assurance." It went on to say that companies do this to ensure agents are courteous and are following protocol. Though they also say the chances of your call being monitored is less than one percent, some institutions retain the recordings for over two years.

But the most striking statement was that the tapes may be running while you're on hold.

So let me get this straight. After we hear the message that our call may be monitored, and while the music's playing through our earpiece, they're recording whatever can be heard into our mouthpiece??

This does not give me a comfortable feeling knowing that as I sit distracted by their crummy music, they're at the other end laughing at what I am saying. Or, they may not be laughing.

How many times over the years have I expounded on the lousy service I was getting from this particular company, or how I swore I'd take my business elsewhere. Maybe that's why they do it - to track their competition. "Gentlemen, last month we had a 30% increase in disgruntled callers on hold swearing to take their business to The Home Depot."

Or worse, what if they've been listening to my yammering while I was waiting? I don't mean humming or whistling to myself, I mean talking to the family, friends, or business associates, while on hold.

If that's the case, these companies may have heard some one-way conversations that have sounded like this:

"Just a little to the left, honey. Down lower. Perfect! The picture's hanging just right."

"It's a hundred and seventy-five a quarter. The most expensive US coin I've ever purchased."

"Say, Bob, why don't you and Carol consider swapping with me and Alice? We won't need the time-share until August."

Let's just say that from now on, I will be much more careful what I say while on hold after hearing the message, "This call may be monitored for quality assurance."

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