Sunday, May 18, 2008

moronic toilet seatcovers

If you've read my post about mysterious men's room doors or the one about toilet seat noises from the ladies' room, you may believe I'm hung up on the commode.

I am, but that's not the point. Do you know one thing I hate? I hate those fuzzy toilet lid covers women put on their toilets. (How do I know men don't put them on their toilet lids? Trust me, they don't.)

The other day I'm at a friend's house and I gotta take a whizz. I ask the guy's wife where the room is, and after walking in, I see she's installed the dreaded fuzzy lid. The problem with these stupid covers is that when a guy lifts the seat to do his business, the seat balances precariously straight up and down, usually leaning EVER so slightly "down," because the seat and lid rest away from the tank due to the puffy fabric.

So now I have a choice. I can either hold the seat up with my "free" hand, (I don't know how you tall guys do it,) or take my chances and hope the damn seat doesn't fall midstream.

You can tell that the designers of modern commodes were men who did not plan for a lid that would not rest other than just south of TDC* and that the designers of fuzzy lid covers were women who could never use the toilet with the seat up.

*Top Dead Center for women unfamiliar with car terminology


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Monday, May 19, 2008 4:59:00 AM  
Blogger Freddie said...

Never could stand fuzzy seat covers myself. Nothin' but germ-catchers/holders. Same with the rugs with the hole cut out so they can sit around the bottom of the toilet. No thanks!

Monday, May 19, 2008 8:38:00 AM  
Anonymous phantasmix said...


ditto! they're disgusting, ewwww

So, Cynical, did you hold it with your free hand or did you teach them a lesson? :)

Monday, May 19, 2008 10:20:00 AM  
Blogger The Sarcasticynic said...

Better. I peed on the damn thing. I swear it was an accident.

Monday, May 19, 2008 10:30:00 AM  
Anonymous phantasmix said...

So you taught them a lesson ☺

Monday, May 19, 2008 2:10:00 PM  
Blogger M@ said...

Funny, Sarc. I have always referred to those as "feminist toilet seats." And the are beyond declasse.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008 9:22:00 PM  
Anonymous James B. said...

Ha ha ha! Don't feel bad. I have peed on my share of fuzzy toilet lid covers, 'cause you're right: they don't stay upright all the time.

And you're also correct in that it is pure torture for taller guys. I've tried that hold-the-lid-with-the-free-hand thing, but peeing while leaning over or crouching, in order to hold the lid is not ideal.

What I'm most curious about is if the first commenter's display on rheumatoid arthritis was pure spamly coincidence or some sort of mysterious hint for help with your toilet seat problem ;-)

Tuesday, May 20, 2008 9:42:00 PM  
Blogger The Sarcasticynic said...

I used to delete the spam, James, but lately I've found them to be a source of amusing further commentary.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008 6:43:00 AM  
Anonymous James B. said...

Sarc, this bit of spam was certainly timely!

Wednesday, May 21, 2008 9:46:00 PM  
Blogger knees said...

this seriously made me LOL!

Friday, June 13, 2008 6:55:00 PM  

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